The great autumn lock-in. Beautiful thing when it really clicks. Lately I’ve been thinking heavy about who I want to be, how I want to be seen as an artist. Killing my ego in certain areas. Took me a long time to get here, but those who know me personally know how much this means. I just wanna be him — not in a pick-me way, but in the sense that God chose me to be the realest. I said I killed my ego, but you get it.

I’m feeling great. Finally seeing the fruits of my labour now that I’m consistent with the music and my career. Low-key I’ve turned myself into a social experiment — how far can I really go if I stay locked in? Where will it take me? This journey is gonna be one for the ages. My confidence is back and I’m not hiding it anymore.

Only thing I worry about is burning out. Hyperfocus has crashed me before. But this time, if it happens, I’ll make it known. No more disappearing when shit goes left. I’ll be open about it. Hopefully it won’t come to that :)

Now for the updates: HEAVEN* is next. Been working on this tape for the longest, always hesitant to drop for reasons that don’t even matter anymore. No more of that. We’re taking it all the way up. Taryn going crazy, Jobe going crazy, Felix going crazy, Gambz going crazy, and me? I’m definitely going crazy trying to take it there.

And to anyone who actually reads my thoughts — thank you. I got something for you. Join the mailing list, ‘cause we’re going real far.

Over the past few months from when I last decided to update this blog, my life has gone through multiple phases. I was in unstable housing after losing my dream flat with my brother, I had my heart broken again, and I’ve felt generally bored and uninspired. It felt as if I’m waiting for Sony Music to knock on my door and be like, “ayo sign this contract for a bajjillion dollars” and everything’s sweet in the end… but sadly, no, that hasn’t happened… yet.

Now that we’re somehow back in September, the great autumn lock-in shall now commence. I’m trying to stay devoted to the craft by just simply doing more than I’m already doing. Being more present within my social life, or actually being human without the need of a phone. I think the worst thing about my current situation is that I’m really sick of my job. I’ve got so many ideas — ideas that come to fruition through other people simply because I didn’t act upon them. It happens every month and frankly, I’m fucking tired of it.

For the rest of this year (and possibly my life) I want to deify myself — not in a narcissistic way (sort of). By this I mean I want to transcend my own life, to really live like the artist I want to be, even if that means making sacrifices I don’t want to make. I can’t work another year of hospitality, having to fake my way through it all.

I’ve been lazy, admittedly — I always have been. I feel like I talk way more than I do, which is why I have to go ghost every now and then. To keep that mysterious aura (that has now been slaughtered by the mere mention of said aura). But no more. All these ideas I say I’m gonna do — I want to look back at this specific blog post and be like, wow, I actually have done a lot since this day. I don’t know, something has suddenly switched and I just wanna know that I’m not doing this for nothing. I probably am. Maybe some more value shifting needs to happen so I don’t feel like this all the time. Or maybe there’s something deeply wrong with me.

Nahhh, I’m just bored.

Anyways, I’ve been working on something spectacular this whole year and I’m almost done. Thank you Sam — if you ever read this, you are my favourite human being. Anyways, I’ve been playing God to feel my (not so) hidden God complex, and it’s made me realise a lot about myself. I feel like I’ve gone through hell and back in this constant game of self-discovery. If everyone in life was given a set of tarot cards to determine their life, I feel like mine would be the 4 of Cups and the Knight of Wands. I don’t actually know what that means, but I know it makes sense somewhere, and I know someone will tell me it does.

But yeah, I’m almost done — and in 2026 we will see something great come from me. Please bear with me. For those who stuck with me, I adore every fibre within you. If you took the time to read this, God bless youu.