Over the past few months from when I last decided to update this blog, my life has gone through multiple phases. I was in unstable housing after losing my dream flat with my brother, I had my heart broken again, and I’ve felt generally bored and uninspired. It felt as if I’m waiting for Sony Music to knock on my door and be like, “ayo sign this contract for a bajjillion dollars” and everything’s sweet in the end… but sadly, no, that hasn’t happened… yet.

Now that we’re somehow back in September, the great autumn lock-in shall now commence. I’m trying to stay devoted to the craft by just simply doing more than I’m already doing. Being more present within my social life, or actually being human without the need of a phone. I think the worst thing about my current situation is that I’m really sick of my job. I’ve got so many ideas — ideas that come to fruition through other people simply because I didn’t act upon them. It happens every month and frankly, I’m fucking tired of it.

For the rest of this year (and possibly my life) I want to deify myself — not in a narcissistic way (sort of). By this I mean I want to transcend my own life, to really live like the artist I want to be, even if that means making sacrifices I don’t want to make. I can’t work another year of hospitality, having to fake my way through it all.

I’ve been lazy, admittedly — I always have been. I feel like I talk way more than I do, which is why I have to go ghost every now and then. To keep that mysterious aura (that has now been slaughtered by the mere mention of said aura). But no more. All these ideas I say I’m gonna do — I want to look back at this specific blog post and be like, wow, I actually have done a lot since this day. I don’t know, something has suddenly switched and I just wanna know that I’m not doing this for nothing. I probably am. Maybe some more value shifting needs to happen so I don’t feel like this all the time. Or maybe there’s something deeply wrong with me.

Nahhh, I’m just bored.

Anyways, I’ve been working on something spectacular this whole year and I’m almost done. Thank you Sam — if you ever read this, you are my favourite human being. Anyways, I’ve been playing God to feel my (not so) hidden God complex, and it’s made me realise a lot about myself. I feel like I’ve gone through hell and back in this constant game of self-discovery. If everyone in life was given a set of tarot cards to determine their life, I feel like mine would be the 4 of Cups and the Knight of Wands. I don’t actually know what that means, but I know it makes sense somewhere, and I know someone will tell me it does.

But yeah, I’m almost done — and in 2026 we will see something great come from me. Please bear with me. For those who stuck with me, I adore every fibre within you. If you took the time to read this, God bless youu.